Thursday, April 16, 2009
Nine Red Flag Words
Here at Raise High The Roofbeam, Carpenters! we are committed to providing you with the most up-to-date in conversational technology. That is why we present you today with this handy list of red-flag words, phrases which lift a metaphorical red flag to announce the potential approach of conversational danger. When your conversational partner utters any one of these phrases, we advise you to take care, plan your escape routes, and calmly assess the situation. Remember: don't panic! If you are prepared and watch for the warning signs, you too can avoid the pitfalls of interlocutory disaster.
1. "I'm just at a point in my life when..."
2. "Deconstruction" to mean destruction or taking apart.
3. "Deconstruction" to mean "Deconstruction".
4. "Vis a vis", also, "qua".
5. "I don't mean to be [racist/insensitive/stupid] BUT..."
6. "Yeah, I know that X is an asshole, but he's really nice once you get to know him."
7. "I only [dance/sing/talk to girls/go out] when I'm drunk."
8. Anything to do with quantum mechanics or neuroscience (fMRI studies in particular) when the person's only source is "Some article I read..." or, in a more extreme case, "Some video my friend told me about..." that 'scientifically proves' [telepathy/time travel/the existence of god and/or the afterlife] ESPECIALLY when included in a discussion of recreational psychedelic drugs.
9. "Yeah, I wrote something about that on my blog."
Please suggest your own red flag words in the comments.